The Reality of Life on the Road
This week was hard for me. I started getting homesick, I questioned myself, and almost felt like I was losing myself in this new journey. I know, three weeks into a one-year trip, and she’s already falling apart. I started to feel that there was no carved out path for me yet on this new adventure. I have been so used to structure with my career, my goals, and my self-induced schedule. I felt guilty for feeling these feels so early in the game. The thought of not going back home for a year and maybe missing my standardized life was standing out in my mind.
Just three weeks ago I left everything behind. I have no job, no direction, no set-schedule, and it was driving me crazy. I have been struggling to find what I am contributing to the world right now. My job which is also my passion gave me purpose, and my goals gave me a reason to work hard everyday towards something. For someone who is so structured, goal oriented, and probably takes things way too seriously, it is really difficult to just let it all go and find new things to be passionate about on the road aside from travel. I feel that no one ever talks about this part of the journey, and I want to share that piece with you. Sure all of us travelers make it look so easy, and the Instagram posts show that this path is without challenges. This isn’t actually true all of the time, and that is completely okay. Whichever path you take, any one that is worth it, is not without challenges you will have to face either internally or externally.
What I have realized this last week is that there are these particularly beautiful moments that you get to experience as a full-time traveler like meeting new friends that you may have otherwise not met at home, seeing incredible sights you never imagined existed, and getting to appreciate the diversity of the world. It is moments like these that I do not question my direction, my purpose, or what tomorrow is going to bring. Every day here is not routine or standard the way it is back home. You can wake up every single day excited to really live and experience new sites and new people. I also find that no matter how lost I might feel some days, I can always find light in practicing gratitude that I have this opportunity to travel the world with my best friend, my love, my biggest fan, and my greatest travel companion. Perhaps, instead of focusing so hard on what I am contributing, I need to let go and allow this experience to contribute to my life, inspire me, and change me.
So if your’e asking if its worth it to quit your job, buy a one-way ticket, and see the world…the answer so far is, absolutely. Do things that scare you, do things that change you, do things that make you question who you are, and fiercely pursue your own version of what it means to really live and be happy even if you come home really broke at the end of it, its totally worth it! After all, this is what life is really all about.
Love, Nurse Vanessa
